jewish Funeral Guide

Jewish Mourning - the first Week

Grace after Meals (Ashkenazi)

We have already discussed the changes in the wording of the third blessing of Birkat HaMazon / ברכת המזון — Grace after Meals. Now we can proceed to the changes in the fourth blessing. Ashkenazim recite the beginning of the fourth blessing of Birkat HaMazon as usual until after the words “... He will do good to us /הוא ייטיב לנו ...” and continue with the special version as follows:

הַמֶּלֶךְ הַחַי הַטּוֹב וְהַמֵּטִיב
אֵל אֱמֶת דַּיָּן אֱמֶת
שׁוֹפֵט בְּצֶדֶק
לוֹקֵחַ נְפָשׁוֹת בְּמִשְׁפָּט
שַׁלִּיט בְּעוֹלָמוֹ
לַעֲשׂוֹת בּוֹ כִּרְצוֹנוֹ׃
כִּי כָל דְּרָכָיו מִשְׁפָּט
וַאֲנַחְנוּ עַמּוֹ וַעֲבָדָיו׃
וְעַל הַכּל אֲנַחְנוּ חַיָּיבִים
לְהוֹדוֹת לוֹ וּלְבָרְכוֹ׃
גּוֹדֵר פְּרָצוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל
הוּא יִגְדּוֹר אֶת הַפִּרְצָה הַזּאת
מֵעָלֵינוּ וּמֵעַל הָאָבֵל הַזֶּה
לְחַיִּים וּלְשָׁלוֹם וְכָל טוֹב
וּמִכָּל טוּב לְעוֹלָם אַל יְחַסְּרֵנוּ׃

The living King, good and benevolent,
God of truth, true Judge,
Who judges with righteousness,
Who takes souls in justice,
Who rules in His world
to do with it as He wishes.
For all His ways are justice
and we are His nation and His servants.
For everything we must
thank Him and bless Him.
He Who repairs the breaches of Israel
may He repair this breach
from us and from this mourner
for life, and peace, and everything good
and may He never make us lacking any good.

The mourners proceed to the next portion of Birkat HaMazon that starts with “The Merciful One! May He reign over us forever and ever /  הרחמן, הוא ימלוך עלינו לעולם ועד”.